There are many stress-busting tips you might keep in mind if dealing with single motherhood. This is important to do, and for obvious reasons. Despite how strong, competent and absolutely capable many single mothers proven themselves to be (as if that was ever in question,) it’s not a slight against them to suggest that this life can be quite tiring. Not only must you share the entire burden of child rearing yourself, but you must secure some form of income for you and your child.
No matter how strong or virtuous of a person you are, we all get tired. We can get even more tired when suffering from exhaustion. All of this can contribute to some really negative personal moods, and affect our future. To take care of our stress is not only the main effort we take in order to keep ourselves in check, but to also ensure we stay the best mothers we can. For this reason, we’d recommend considering the following:
Live Within Your Means
It’s important to live however well you can, but also to manage that against your budget. Using a budgeting application such as YNAB can help you keep on top of your finances, and save more diligently for the future. This can lend itself to your long-term success completely, and give you peace of mind when it comes to managing money matters. This also means that you can prioritize the money you do have for important things that make the most sense to you. You might not need that fancy subscription to an entertainment package, but you can sure your child is well dressed, for example.
We’d also recommend searching for your own place in which you can relax and rest with long-term permanence, and craft a home for your child. For example, searching for new condos for sale can help you get set up immediately, asking your family for help or using your savings to begin the loan process. Simply having a solid, secure and warm place to call your own, and not relying on your folks or the generosity of others can help tremendously with how autonomous you feel yourself to be - which is a large factor in self-esteem. With the willingness to find your best home, you can begin the chapter of motherhood with your best intentions.
Cool It On The Dating Front
While being a single mother is hard, it’s infinitely better than being with the wrong person and still trying to take care of your child. Of course, this absolutely does not mean you should never show an interest in dating again. Actually, you’d be surprised how many men are more than willing to engage with your family and help your child grow if you open yourself up to the right person. However, the requirements for competence need to be much higher than they might have been when you were solo and on the dating circuit. Now you must not only greet any man or woman with the eye of impressing yourself, but with the eye of suitability for you and child. This might take weeks or months to ascertain with someone. You might have bad experiences. You might become frustrated that things aren’t moving so fast. However, not only can this make you choose people who should be unworthy, but it makes you feel lesser than you are, and more willing to make mistakes with someone really unsuitable.
This is why relaxing on the dating front, still dating but lowering expectations, can help you stay relaxed and engaged in the entire process, with your child still serving as the most important person in your life, with absolutely zero wriggle room as far as that’s concerned. It will also help you open up to natural and great experiences (that are bound to happen,) because when you stop forcing for them to, that’s when they begin to develop.
Don’t Be Too Proud
You might be proud of yourself. If you’re successfully raising a child on your own terms and doing a good job - who has the right to take that away from you? Absolutely no one on planet Earth or beyond it can. However, that doesn’t mean being too proud isn’t something to watch out for. This can often develop into choosing to fore go help even though you need it. It might be that you pretend that you can achieve everything without taking the necessary steps to de-stress. It might be that you believe yourself strong enough to resist your ex-partner from coming back into your life, despite their overly emotional and relatively manipulative message that they’ve learned and have changed.
In these instances, and many more, being too proud can hinder you. It’s also quite hard to regulate our perspectives and emotions away from this to begin with. We’d recommend keeping close people around you from the outside, people who know your true character and can help you become aware of your own personal faults that might have occurred. It might simply be your own willingness to call your parents and ask for them to look after your child this weekend, as it’s important for you to take a spa day and relax, melting all the stress away from you. It might be worth being firm with your ex-partner, or taking it to the courts if you feel yourself to have been impeded against. You are more than in your rights to ask for any of this, because remember, you are human too. You need to be your best to become a great single Mother, something you have largely done incredibly well already. With that perspective, you will often find yourself more inclined to continue this, and to defend your emotions, capabilities or physical wear and tear in the ways that mean the most sense to you.
With these simple tips, stress busting as a new mother can be nothing short of an amazing maintenance task you should conduct often. Thankfully - now you’ll know how to proceed with wisdom.
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