I have NOT felt like I have looked sexy since becoming a mom. Hell, I haven't even felt clean, with the 100 diaper changes a day, how could I? I barely have any time for myself. In the time I do get I spend it cleaning, cooking, and catching up on the occasional zzz's.
Shower time has been reduced to a few minutes and I'm not alone. With my little man in his bouncer chair right outside the doorway, so I can keep my eye on him. Shaved legs "pshhh" forget it. Make up, a thing of the past. Half the time, I only put deodorant under one of my arms.
My first thought when I opened my closest used to be "does this make my boobs look good?" These days it's more like, "can I breastfeed in this?", or "i wonder if this stains easily?" So bath robe it is, again. For the 136th day in a row. I practically live in this thing. Who am I kidding, practically...? No I do live in it. My underwear drawer has gone from satin and lace to compression waist bands and nursing bras. There's spit up down my shirt and in my hair. My easy "go to" pony tail is starting to come undone, and Milo just farted.
My squishy tummy wiggles, as I'm massaging lotion onto my stretch marks. The darkness under my eyes is a dead give away of exactly how tired I am, and I just noticed that there's poop on my elbow. My elbow, really!? How in the.... I willingly pump multiple times a day like I'm a some sort of dairy cow. Milo already peed on me twice and I just sprouted a leak of my own...
These days may be hard, long, and not quite landing me a gig on the cover of Vogue anytime soon. However, they are real, cherished, and mine to make memories with. My house may not always be clean, and I may not look like a supermodel, but my son will only be this age once and I'll be damned if I don't make the most of it. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but one day I will look back and wish these days didn't go by so fast. Motherhood may not be sexy, but it is beautiful.